


Turning the Green Frog-Squids Gay (and Horny)

by elijah_was_a_prophet



Category: Passpartout: The Starving Artist (Video Game)
Genre: Embedded Images, MS Paint Art, NSFW Art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:50:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21700306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elijah_was_a_prophet/pseuds/elijah_was_a_prophet
Summary: disclaimer: I have never played this game, but the image of a self aggrandizing guy who draws bad hentai on street corners entered my brain and I then spent all day using MS Paint to create these masterpieces. Enjoy!
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17
Collections: Writing Rainbow Green





	Turning the Green Frog-Squids Gay (and Horny)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [only90sbirdsremember](https://archiveofourown.org/users/only90sbirdsremember/gifts).



> disclaimer: I have never played this game, but the image of a self aggrandizing guy who draws bad hentai on street corners entered my brain and I then spent all day using MS Paint to create these masterpieces. Enjoy!

>   
>  _Dear Passpartout,_   
>  _I am a senior in high school who wants to get into art school. My parents worry that I’ll be unsuccessful and go into extreme student debt. But I really love art! Will passion be enough, or should I pick a more traditional main career and keep a steady art hobby on the side? I do want to live comfortably._   
>  _-Senior in Saskatchewan_

  
Dear Senior,  
Fuck your parents. Art is suffering. Art is poverty. Art is the barista at this Starbucks glaring because I bought a cake pop ten hours ago and have been sitting by the window on my phone ever since. I see you, bitch.  
If you don’t want to go into crippling debt I don’t think you have the proper motivation for this job. Hardship is what makes art. Just look at this painting I made after two weeks of eating only Zebra cakes.

The man who called this painting an abomination upon the eyes was incorrect. He cannot see into the soul of the painting, the soul at which sits an empty bottle of wine and a crumpled cellophane wrapper. Art, my readers, is this. 

>   
>  _Dear Passpartout,_   
>  _What is your opinion on perspective drawing practice? My teacher says I need to do it, but I’m heavily inspired by the works of Pablo Picasso and believe that art rules need to be broken. I know that you’re a famous artist, so I trust your opinion more because is SHE famous? No? Then why should I listen to her opinion!_   
>  _Painter in Powell River_

Dear Painter, You are absolutely correct. Perspective is useless. Just look at these three paintings, inspired by Japanese comics.

_A Moderate Conservative Fighting the Pierced Anarcho-Primitivist_

__

_An Artist’s Interpretation of “Ballad of Fallen Angels”_

__

_Classic Tunes For the Anime Soul_

Notice how despite not having a single instance of perspective, every one of those paintings are contemporary art. I remember a man spitting on me at the sight of me attaching a picture of a phone to my canvas with rubber cement, but as followers of this column know art is suffering.

>   
>  _Dear Passpartout,_
> 
> _Recently my mother discovered my stash of erotic slash art and informed me it was obscene and to please not have it as my laptop background. I have no clue what she’s talking about. I do not create pornography, I create boundry breaking expressions of love and desire between man and man, werewolf, or alien tentacle monster. I have received rave reviews from fellow monster fucking enthusiasts on pixiv and pre-purge tumblr, and one of my comics (a male reinterpretation of “The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife) was popular enough to stolen and widely reposted on subreddits for karma farming. My question to you is this: Is my erotic art not art? Am I not an artist? Will the furries who are my Patreons continue to pay if I only draw sea creaturesonas?_
> 
>   
>  _Eroticist in Elliot Lake_

Dear Eroticist,  
I am in a similar position with regards to my masterworks inspired by the Japanese anime series “Mahou Shoujo Taisen”, which is about cute magical girls based off of Japanese provinces. Naturally, these Deviantart design OCs and lack of plot totally captured me, and I have spent the last six years composing a multi volume epic about their adventures. Here’s an excerpt from the girl’s adventures to the land of squid demons who steal clothing.

As you can tell, the emotions and the stakes are very high in this storyline. I used to photocopy volumes at the public library and sell them on the street corners but the government tore down a small businessman yet again by telling me to stop wasting paper and also that the other patrons did not want to see my tentacle scat sounding pornography. Clearly they did not read where at the beginning of the volume I explained how Naoko Akene was going through character development, as represented by the psychic spiroasting. Stay strong, brother. Someday the MET will realize that my comics, produced at an amazingly efficient rate of 5 minutes per panel, are the new wave. And right next to them will hang your sea urchinsona. We are the new Impressionists!


End file.
